Article Contributed by: Ziad Haggag

In Egypt, weddings are considered a huge investment. No matter how the budget differs, an Egyptian wedding will always be the same; by that I mean taking a loan for a 5-hour wedding in a fancy hotel or a private ballroom, followed by an enormous ‘Zaffa’, and then the ‘Harry Potter Feast’ as I call it, then you’ll most probably meet that cousin (that you’ve never heard of) who your parents will start convincing you that you grew up together.

These are some of the people that you can find in most Egyptian weddings, but wait.. there’s more!

The Kid that Destroys the First Dance

 We all know that kid who jumps on the dancing floor as soon as the bride and groom start dancing, being encouraged by their parents as they start filming them. For some reason, they think that the dance floor is their own personal space.

The Funny Old Relative

We all know that 50-year-old who thinks he’s still a teenager. He’s always on his feet, ALWAYS dancing with the bride and always singing and dancing to Hamdi Batchan’s ‘Eh El Asatok Da’ while everyone scream at him “eh ya ragel enta da, eh el enta aamlo da”

Also, if they’re single. They’ll always have a joke or two about marriage and how he enjoys being single.

The Annoying Aunt

The annoying aunt who goes to weddings just to gossip. She might even end up inviting her friends if you give her a “plus one”. That lady will make fun of your dress/tuxedo, will criticize the amount of food on the buffet, and she’ll most probably tell everyone the next day about the wedding and how her friends dressed badly.

The Fashionista

This is the person who basically captures the whole wedding for social media (you can tell they’re trying to get their Instagram stories to Sundance). She’s always asking the photographer to take her pictures all the time, and most probably came prepared with a make-up kit somewhere tucked in her car, because you never know!

The Person Who’s Not Invited

 AKA The Wedding Crasher! This person acts like they own the wedding for some reason; they’re also always first in line for food and photobomb every photograph. And then later on in the wedding video, you can hear everyone asking “Who is that??!”. They’re too chill and act like you know every single person in the wedding. We have to admit, they’ve got guts.

The Food Critic

“I loved the smoked salmon but it’s not comparable to the one I had at ‘Opium, La Cabane’“

Always criticizing the amount of nuts/seafood on the table. And if your’e unlucky enough and they’re vegan they’d be like “How come there’s no vegan options?! the wedding I attended in Gouna last summer had a vegan corner!”

The Mother

We can’t tell whether she’s crying or laughing! We can see her standing in the corner of the dance floor wiping her tears and suddenly she’s dancing with everyone. and whenever someone congratulates her she starts crying again.

To conclude, one thing is for sure, Egyptians know how to make a wedding and I’m glad, I’m really glad to be part of this community. But always remember to avoid the annoyed aunt and ‘The Fashionista’ otherwise you’ll end up being their personal photographer for the rest of the night. Yalla 3o2balkom!