Relationships are the most difficult to gain and obtain, am I right? That’s why as an #overthinker, I thought that I should share a checklist that you can use as inspiration on how do we know when he or she is the one. And by the one, I don’t mean the one that you’ve always dreamt of “Mr. perfect” or “Mrs. right”, NO a list that will help your mind widen and think, and think well. Maybe these questions will answer a lot of mind-puzzling questions you may have or maybe this could just be a good read to pass along to a friend.


Let’s wait and see…

First things first, access your relationship. Are you casual, monogamous, or is it too complicated to even structure a label on you two?

If you’ve chosen casual, please do us a favor and don’t overthink. Just sit and enjoy the ride.

On the other hand you monogamous & complicated ladies or gents, this is the article for you.

I want to start with a quote that I read today, I’d love to know down below in the comment section what are your thoughts about this poem. How did it make you feel and why.


Here goes nothing;

I bet you’re wondering why would I place a poem about freedom and happiness when I’m clearly trying to advice you about relationships. Have you wondered why your past relationships didn’t work well? Why they ended, comeon’ don’t always blame the other side of that story. THINK. It’s not easy to let yourself go, it’s not easy to be at free with oneself. But I’ll tell you this, the moment that you start to love and let go of yourself, that is the moment that you will know how to love someone else.

Okay, enough with the sappiness, let me get to the good stuff. THE LIST. ASK YOURSELF.


1.       Is he or she your friend?

The core aspect of every relationship should be a friendship. You will be spending all hours of your years with that person, if you two aren’t friends than you’ll probably most likely get bored REAL quick. Relationships are so different than friendships, whoever lied to us and made us believe that that’s true was retarded sorry but I’m not sorry. Being a friend is what starts it all. I mean during this quarantine I’d much rather spend it with my boyfriend than with anyone else, you know why, ‘cause he’s my best friend. I love being around his company.


2.       Is he content with his/her life?

Because if oneself has problems, issues, and tons of baggage and doesn’t know how to handle them. This might be a red flag. Not because we can’t handle it, but because maybe it’s not the best time you should invest in falling in love. Rather be there for them, maybe even put things on hold until they are okay, until they believe that they are ready to love. Some situations aren’t as easy as I might have written there, trust me, I know. But, with every falling leave, comes a new leaf. If they are willing to have you by their sides while this rough patch is invading their lives, STAY. Stay until your utmost limit because sweetheart not every day will be butterflies & rainbows. It’s the days that are the toughest that make it all worthwhile.


3.       Does he/she have hopes & dreams and have they vocalized them to you?

I know it must be hard sometimes to open up or have someone open up to you about their secrets, their life goals, their dreams even. But, what you have to lay out is that you are here and you want to know their true selves to the core in order to help them grow that dream. Make it become reality. I mean what’s the point of not sharing what your life goals are with your partner? And trying your hardest to push them to become stronger, to push them when they might not want to themselves. It’s a partnership, it’s not just you. It’s you and them, always.


4.       Are they open, what I mean is do they talk to you, openly?

As obsolete as it is, communication is and will always be EVERYTHING in any relationship. If they don’t let you in and tell you things that define them that make them who they are or who they’re not. Then do they really want you, forever? Yea, sure they’ll tell you time and time again that they are not the most talkative human beings that roam the earth, but if they don’t spend at least a little bit of time telling you something, talking about their day even then will they ever let you in. I would advise, if they don’t let you in right away then something happened that made them the way they are. Give them time, give them their space and before you know it, they’ll start with telling you about small details but important details about their day. They’ll start to let you in, maybe not as fast as you did, but at their own pace and that should be okay.


5.       This is a frequent question for the ladies; do they treat their mothers like queens?

I mean girl, if he treats his mother, the person who helped bring him into this life that we call “normal” like the queen that she is, will he ever treat you less? The way we women look at is, if he treats his mother with kindness, love, support and most importantly respect. Then you’re good to go. Men treat their women as good as they treat their mothers. She is the one that taught them how a women should be treated. Trust and hold on to those men who are like this. Sooner or later, you’ll get married and you’ll be his queen.

    I know there must be a ton of other questions and answers we should have on the list, but I don’t think it’d ever end. So I’m going to stop here and continue this in another series of articles.


One last thing, think of your relationship as a flower, if you nourish it, keep it healthy, pick it’s bad parts and try to help it grow to be better than you’ve done it. Water your relationships you guys, before it dies and you regret not giving it the need, the want, the everything it deserved.

I’d really like it if you could tell me what you thought of this. I hope I’ve helped some, and awoken others to what maybe wasn’t clear to them before. #Happiness always comes with a price. Happy Lovin’.

Author: Zena Al-Arab